Miller High Life has launched a cologne that will let you "proudly wear" the scent of dive bars. Yes, really.
Dive bars generally aren’t the best smelling of places. Beer, sweat, and (often) despair linger in the air, but the beers are cheap and the company is largely non-judgmental.
If you just can’t get enough of that scent, you will be pleased to know that there is now a cologne that replicates that giddy smell and you can wear it around town: Miller High Life Dive Bar-Fume. It will set you back $40 - which could otherwise buy a lot of beer at most dive bars.
So what, exactly, does this perfume smell like? Regrettably, OGN has not sampled a whiff of this tempting Christmas stocking present but Miller says it “captures every familiar dive bar scent from the satisfying crack of a freshly opened beer to the comforting savory taste of classic bar snacks.”
To achieve that, the maker of the fragrance blended a variety of scents. Cedarwood and patchouli are included to bring the smell of the bar top to mind. Tobacco and leather are blended in to recreate the barstool smell. If that doesn't make you immediately rush out to buy it (or wretch?), champaca blossom is also mixed in to recreate the smell of a Miller High Life opening (an odd choice, since flowers are not what comes to mind when most beers are popped). And sea salt, meant to bring the smell of a basket of fries, are the final blend.
Not included, apparently, is the smell of that guy at the end of the bar who’s always there, regardless of when you visit.