It's very likely that you've never heard of Doug Larson. He was born in 1926 and became a columnist for various publications in Wisconsin. As you will discover, he became rather skilled at the pithy, humerous one-liner.
“Wisdom is the reward you get for a lifetime of listening when you'd have preferred to talk.”
“Spring is when you feel like whistling even with a shoe full of slush.”
“Few things are more satisfying than seeing your own children have teenagers of their own.”
“Some of the world's greatest feats were accomplished by people not smart enough to know they were impossible.”
“Life expectancy would grow by leaps and bounds if green vegetables smelled as good as bacon.”
"Utility is when you have one telephone, luxury is when you have two, opulence is when you have three - and paradise is when you have none."
“A weed is a plant that has mastered every survival skill except for learning how to grow in rows.”
“Establishing goals is all right if you don't let them deprive you of interesting detours.”
“If all the cars in the United States were placed end to end, it would probably be Labor Day Weekend.”
“Bad news travels fast. Good news takes the scenic route.”
“The ageing process has you firmly in its grasp if you never get the urge to throw a snowball.”
"Real elation is when you feel you could touch a star without standing on tiptoe."
More OGN collections of quotations