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Last Week's Funniest News Stories

A handful of chuckle-worthy stories that crossed OGN's humour radar.


Hilarious Misunderstanding: While canvassing in east Yorkshire at the recent UK general election, Labour candidate Karl Turner was able to win back a voter by clearing up a simple misunderstanding. "We met a guy who said he was going to vote Labour but wouldn't now, because he had just heard that we were taxing condoms," he recalled. "I said, 'Condoms?' 'Yeah,' he said. 'I just heard on that [pointing to the TV] that you are taxing condoms, and I'm not having it.'" Turner was baffled, until an aide worked it out. "We're taxing non-doms, not condoms," Turner explained. "Oh," the man replied, and shouted into his house: "Margaret: they're taxing non-doms, not condoms."


Kiss And Make Up: A French cyclist has been fined for "unseemly or inappropriate behaviour" after pulling over while competing in the Tour de France so that he could kiss his wife. Stage 7 of the epic endurance test passed through Julien Bernard's home region, and "family and friends had flocked to the roadside to cheer him on". He has since "offered a playful apology", said CNN, posting on X: "I'm sorry for having damaged the image of the sport but I would pay 200 CHF (£174 / $223) every day to relive this moment." Speaking to Le Bien Public, the cyclist described it as a "once in a lifetime" moment.


ATM
Need some cash?

Cash Flow Problems: An ATM cash machine has appeared on Sonning Bridge that crossed the River Thames in Berkshire, near to George Clooney's home in England. The latest stunt by artist Impro is designed to draw attention to high-street bank branch closures and accessibility.


Literally Anyone Else: Fed up with the current state of political affairs in America, a Texas man legally changed his name to Literally Anybody Else to apply for a particularly difficult-to-get job: President of the United States.


Banter Merchant: A Glasgow hotel is looking to hire a "banter merchant" to entertain guests throughout Edinburgh Festival Fringe. AC Hotel by Marriott Glasgow said it is seeking a "breakfast roaster" to leave its guests "in stitches" during the famous event - even though it is 45 miles from Edinburgh, the hotel says it is getting an uptick in bookings during the festival. The paid gig - which would suit someone performing at the Fringe - includes free accommodation and travel expenses to and from Scotland's capital for the festival. The job ad states that the selected applicant will be the "toast of the hotel, transforming ordinary mornings into laugh-a-minute experiences and setting the perfect tone for the day ahead. Are you a laugh-a-minute lady? A witty wise guy? A rib-tickling rebel? A banter merchant? A comedian, in other words? Then your dream role may be just a scroll away," the advert says.


 
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