More Funny Tweets About Married Life

Oh, the mirth and merriment of married life!

Are tweets still called tweets?

Rodney Lacroix @RodLacroix

My wife just said "It's freezing in here."

Let the annual Thermostat Games begin.

Mumnipotent Ruler @MumOfTw0

I love when my husband says, “correct me if I’m wrong,” like I would pass up that opportunity.

A Dad Influence @gbergan

If your wife uses "I" it means she will be doing something. "We" means you will be.

Late to the party Laura @ericamorecambe

My husband was unable to find his coat earlier as he'd accidentally hung it up.

mariana Z @mariana057

When your wife starts a sentence with "When you get a chance..." just go ahead and start putting your shoes on. She means now.

*Follow me for more marriage tips…

Cracked @a_simpl_man

Marriage is pretty great except for the part where you have to learn how to read minds.

One Awkward Mom @oneawkwardmom

I asked my husband to add some things that we need for Thanksgiving to the shopping list. When I got to the store I realized he’d just written ‘thanksgiving stuff,’ and if that doesn’t perfectly sum up marriage then I don’t know what does.

Dadof2Boys @Dadof2crazyboys

I was laying on the couch and my wife walked by with a hammer, tape measure and a level but didn’t say a word to me. This is a test, right?

Tori Fletcher @hellotorifletch

Traveling with my husband is fun. It gives us the opportunity to argue in new and more exotic locations.

Alyssa Leader @alittleleader

I borrowed one of my husband’s jackets and I was able to fit MY ENTIRE water bottle in the pocket. Men are given so much in this world.

The Dad @thedad

I got new glasses with anti-glare lenses but I'm looking at my wife right now and, boy, they clearly do not work.

sixfootcandy @sixfootcandy

My husband decided to learn Moonlight Sonata on the piano and he’s been playing it nonstop for over two hours now. I think this is how true crime novels begin.

Want some more? Try: Collection of Hilarious Tweets - Funny musings on parenting, marriage, Christmas and children mispronouncing words.